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Death in the family

Submitted by krdorsey on October 17, 2006 - 10:43pm

It is entirely possible that I'm getting paranoid. But here's the deal. Today I got an email from a student letting me know that she will not be in class this week because her grandmother just passed away. In a class of 21, this is the THIRD student who has missed class because of a grandmother's death.

We are currently in the 7th week of the semester. I'm sure that this could be a coincidence, but I'm tempted to read it as either a very bad sign about the health and well-being of my grandmother, or to be very suspicious of my students.

My questions are (and excuse me if you think this is silly, but I am actually curious):

1. Has anyone noticed an increase of death-in-the-family absence excuses?

2. Does anyone have a policy about students having to prove a death in the family, particularly if their grade is in jeopardy because of excessive absences?

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But when you think about

Submitted by Delaney J. Kirk on November 7, 2006 - 9:39am.

But when you think about it...if our students are 18-20 years old, their parents are probably in the 40s and 50s, which means their grandparents are in their 60s and 70s+ so yes in a classroom you will have grandparents dying. My own grandfather died my freshman year of college. I find it useful to allow my students two "personal days" (this in a class that meets twice a week so essentially a week off) to miss class for any reason without penalty. I only ask that they email me that they will be taking a personal day when they do miss. They don't have to tell me why. I find this helps with absences. After that, they lose participation points.

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This also reminds me that as

Submitted by Jim Brown on November 7, 2006 - 1:07pm.

This also reminds me that as an undergrad a History professor of mine allowed us two days where we didn't have to talk - or where she wouldn't call on us. We could just walk up and tell her "this is my day" and that was it - we could kind of check out for the day. However, you still had to show up on these days.

I guess this gets us away from the topic of "death in the family," but I thought it might be a useful idea to those trying to encourage classroom discussion. If you give students a couple of free days, maybe they're likely to jump into discussions on their "on" days? And maybe they'll pick up the slack for the students who are having "off" days?

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funeral documentation

Submitted by Dr Abbey on October 28, 2006 - 4:07pm.

Where there isn't an obituary, there's usually a program at the funeral. If the student claims to be going out of town, there are plane tickets-- and as a final resort there's a note from a parent, with contact information.

My experience matches the other teachers you're hearing from. If you ask, the legitimate students will separate themselves from the slackers.

But 18-20 year olds do tend to lose grandparents; I did.

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Documentation

Submitted by SarahJett on November 3, 2006 - 11:30am.

I haven't encountered this issue much since I stopped being a T.A. I think when students register for E 316K, their grandmothers should take out large life insurance policies. Since I've been an A.I., though, I've never actually had a student miss class for a death in the family without offering to provide me documentation up front. Usually, when students misses class for any emergency, they provide me documentation whether I ask for it or not. If they've not had problems up to that point in class, I do not usually ask them for documentation. Even if they are not honest, I don't think missing a class or two matters if they've kept up with the class up to that point. This question reminds me of a frustrating situation I faced as a T.A., though. One student told me at the beginning of the semester that he would not be able to attend class on Fridays because of his job. I talked to the professor, and we agreed he should quit his job or drop the class(of course). The student complained about this at length but finally agreed to quit the job. Then he started missing class. He was absent at least ten times, and he was almost never there on Friday. He brought several notes on official stationery from his family doctor saying that he had a strange case of mono. Of course, I didn't believe him, and the professor didn't believe him, and he showed no signs of having mono on Mondays. The administration, though, did believe him, and even though the professor and I agreed that he wouldn't pass, he went through some complicated appeal process and did end up passing the class. That was a frustrating situation because he was clearly lying even though he had documentation.

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Yes, I require documentation

Submitted by wdmartin on October 19, 2006 - 6:15pm.

I haven't noticed a rash of grandparent deaths, no.

However, I've encountered this situation twice, and I have no qualms about asking (politely) for documentation. In evaluating the claim, I also consider the time of term, the student's performance thus far, the student's behavior when asking for consideration (obviously harder to evaluate through email than in person), and what they want.

If it makes you squeamish to ask for documentation, consider presenting the request to them as a policy decided by the school. For example, after offering consolations, you might say "I do hate to have to ask, but the school requires documentation in cases like these."

Let me give my examples.

CASE 1

  1. The event occurred in the second week of the term, too early for panic excuses.
  2. The student had not yet received a grade for any in-class work, but had good attendance. Also, though the student was absent the day that the first paper was submitted, the student completed the assignment and submitted it to me on time via email.
  3. The student exhibited physiological signs of distress that are difficult to fake: blanched, pale complexion; red-rimmed eyes; trembling; unstable voice.
  4. When asked, the student promised documentation, and a week later produced a signed note from the funeral home giving the name of the deceased, the time of the viewing and funeral, and so on.
  5. The student asked for an excused absence, and nothing else.

In that case, it was fairly easy to grant the request. He didn't want much, he gave docs, it was early in the term, he seemed sincerely distressed. It wasn't a hard choice.

CASE 2

  1. The excuse came in the final two weeks of the term.
  2. The student was making a B-; furthermore, earlier in the term the student had asked for and completed extra reading (two full-length books). The student then discussed the contents of the books with me at office hours.
  3. The student wept while bringing the subject up.
  4. When asked for documentation, the student agreed to provide some, and then brought in a copy of the schedule from the funeral (i.e., a program containing a picture of the deceased, a list of which family members addressed the congregation, which hymns were sung, etc). The student expressed shock that anyone would lie about a death in the family - "What kind of people am I living with?"
  5. The student wanted an A in the class, and offered to write reports on the two books she'd read in order to attain it.

In this case, I gave careful consideration and denied the request for an A. However, because the student did provide documentation of the death, and had been an exemplary student hitherto, I excused the student from the final writing assignment in the class, which was a second revision of a paper submitted once before. The student wound up with a B overall (since UT doesn't recognize +/- grades on undergrad transcripts), which is what the student was making anyway. But at the same time, the student wound up with one less thing to worry about in the last week of class, allowing more time to study for exams in other classes and such. On the same theory, I also excused the student from attending the last two classes.

If the student had been making a B+, I might have been willing to give the A. However, the jump from B- to the A range was just too far to justify.

I can't offer an exact formula for determining the truth of the claim, or for figuring out what to do about it. Basically, all you can do is try to follow two axioms: Trust, but verify; and balance compassion with justice.

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Thanks

Submitted by krdorsey on October 24, 2006 - 3:42pm.

for the feedback--its been helpful!

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yes, ask!

Submitted by Ljones on October 25, 2006 - 11:40am.

Whenever I've asked for documentation, I haven't gotten it. It's always been students who are pushing it with absences and have slacked all along. I'm vague about what documentation I require--sometimes I suggest a plane ticket. If the student finds the request for a funeral program or obituary offensive, they can find another way to present evidence.

I've been highly suspicious of all the dead grandmother claims I've received. None of them argued with me about it--they all promised to bring something, and then didn't.

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Absences

Submitted by dsargent on October 19, 2006 - 1:38pm.

A tough call... Certainly, if legitimate, students deserve the excused absence (we've all been in that situation--or will be).

If you wanted, you could require a photocopy of the newspaper obiturary. This would work best with the patrilineal grandparents--i.e. the shared name. However, many obits also list survived family members, where your student may be mentioned. A newspaper obit would provide you with the dates as well (time of death, and funeral services).

It's a fair requirement for the student, and may work for you.

Dan Sargent
Division of Liberal Arts & International Studies, Colorado School of Mines

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